tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76525181708219938912024-03-13T22:39:14.720-07:00First and Last MenMarshallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12478613025681661930noreply@blogger.comBlogger86125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7652518170821993891.post-85521982790807390042008-09-04T12:41:00.001-07:002008-09-04T12:41:46.761-07:00<embed FlashVars="videoId=184086" src='http://www.indecision2008.com/sitewide/video_player/view/default/swf.jhtml' quality='high' bgcolor='#cccccc' width='332' height='316' name='comedy_central_player' align='middle' allowScriptAccess='always' allownetworking='external' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' pluginspage='http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer'></embed><br /><br />Nothing to add. I just want this to be on every site in the universe.Marshallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12478613025681661930noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7652518170821993891.post-700756878937748022008-09-04T12:18:00.000-07:002008-09-04T12:31:47.282-07:00One's Just a Little Smarter Than the Other<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/GliQjmuf8_s&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/GliQjmuf8_s&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />During Sarah Palin's speech last night, the camera kept cutting to her lovely family and her adorable children. Who of course are to be kept off limits except for photo ops. After weathering the creepiness of my mom talking about how handsome Bristol's baby daddy was, I thought I'd had my fill of them. But I'm a real fan of this clip of her daughter combing the hair of the baby. I am not actually aware of her name, but going on her siblings I believe it is probably Trapper. Holding aside questions of why a baby needs its hair parted, I just wish this had happened at a better time. If only she had brought up her belief in Creationism, while her children looked on, grooming each other like monkeys.Marshallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12478613025681661930noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7652518170821993891.post-44179780697440932292008-09-04T07:17:00.000-07:002008-09-04T07:21:56.315-07:00Idiot<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw_pGA_3MfFT0cNhuugUpwOmcoZvVtseD0-S09pg7nbKybXICE42u3IQuMKtpagehzmaInX1Bafr8Vyzby0EVensfN3zyNei40TS9wq9uPw6R3EdTZa7TgKngn53t1pCEJSBNbFsmY8-o/s1600-h/odonnell_lawrence.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw_pGA_3MfFT0cNhuugUpwOmcoZvVtseD0-S09pg7nbKybXICE42u3IQuMKtpagehzmaInX1Bafr8Vyzby0EVensfN3zyNei40TS9wq9uPw6R3EdTZa7TgKngn53t1pCEJSBNbFsmY8-o/s320/odonnell_lawrence.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5242170348667080210" /></a><br /><br />I usually don't watch MORNING JOE though I really should, because they play fantastic bumper music. Anyway, this douche bag just asked "Who's watching her children while she's working?" Are you fucking serious? If she was chosen in part to reveal sexism, and bait the media into chauvinism, it's working. Lawrence O'Donnell, you are officially demoted to my least favorite Irish guy on MSNBC. Don Draper called, he wants his era back.Marshallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12478613025681661930noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7652518170821993891.post-77124314233534438962008-08-29T12:28:00.000-07:002008-08-29T13:13:10.583-07:00Being President is Entirely About Character<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/mWRVbWMvi7c&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/mWRVbWMvi7c&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />Andrew Shepard for President. Apparently Keith Olbermann compared Obama's speech last night to Michael Douglas' address in THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT, one of the three greatest movies ever played on TNT (the other two being SHAWKSHANK and IN THE LINE OF FIRE. They also play CON AIR, but that can not be held within the bounds of media, and therefore is not quantifiable). I think there are similarities. Another analogy was Ali's rope-a-dope. Last night I think Obama turned around and started wailing on Foreman's head, in this case McCain. We'll see how this Palin choice ends up. I don't think Biden has to wipe the floor with her, he just has to dance like a gentleman. We can't keep letting these people lower our expectations to any semblance of competence is a victory. This one goes out to the douchebag with the Miller Chill on the floor, and also to the Mexican guy who had to clean it up, which I do feel bad about. Ain't that America.Marshallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12478613025681661930noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7652518170821993891.post-7726295800901507902008-08-25T16:07:00.001-07:002008-08-25T16:07:41.418-07:00Crows Eat Tinfoil Because It's Delicious<embed src='http://videomedia.ign.com/ev/ev.swf' flashvars='object_ID=959256&downloadURL=http://moviesmovies.ign.com/movies/video/article/902/902451/fast_fur_trlr1_082508_flvlowwide.flv&allownetworking="all"' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' width='433' height='360' ></embed><br /><br />I can't wait until I just hibernate between summers.Marshallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12478613025681661930noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7652518170821993891.post-57180792909645533922008-08-12T00:27:00.000-07:002008-08-12T00:29:07.921-07:00Abraham Simpson for President<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/XonsU2B16_0&color1=11645361&color2=13619151&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/XonsU2B16_0&color1=11645361&color2=13619151&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />Payed for by John McCain for WHAT THE FUCK.Marshallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12478613025681661930noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7652518170821993891.post-53083409018047942662008-08-11T23:33:00.000-07:002008-08-11T23:34:31.589-07:00Sakartvelo<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/VuuhFg-MXAQ&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/VuuhFg-MXAQ&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />This probably seems like it's posted ironically, but I have a sincere hope and admiration for the people of Georgia. Probably going to get into to this thing soon and hopefully halt this nonsense. In the meantime, the voice from 1:25-1:30 should stop Putin in his dirty tracks.Marshallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12478613025681661930noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7652518170821993891.post-11376462946659121102008-08-11T12:05:00.000-07:002008-08-11T12:15:23.189-07:00I watch things set in the desert, or in the snow, In Alaska, or Texas or Mexico, and I wonder How do people stay there? They were born there, of course. Well I was born here, but how do I stay here? I look directly out the window of my father's house and I see wind blowing our Korean neighbor's carefully tended Rose bushes, still dead. Suddenly I think how is this any better than rocks in the arid cliffs of Texas? Fuck, it's a lot worse. I'm sure an austere land like that rips the skin off your back and petrifies you, this place just sort of bleeds you out slowly. Cars go by, a lot, one of them even had really sweet rims. This country is rough on people.Marshallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12478613025681661930noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7652518170821993891.post-28875862227410134802008-08-11T08:03:00.000-07:002008-08-11T08:12:06.644-07:00Simulcast en Espanol<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu16IoQCa0vMRhb3tikQuhjWBgWKfVi57OUTvWx2-gUt6ZxwkTru-auG81j2khqYKVUODxuF7wA8GKuTsdhFvmF2u1xdZ-MsalizNOPWde_df0yp0_-VcXx83uq37XIDjniibRm9DC6iI/s1600-h/dallas-cowboys-training-camp_nc.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu16IoQCa0vMRhb3tikQuhjWBgWKfVi57OUTvWx2-gUt6ZxwkTru-auG81j2khqYKVUODxuF7wA8GKuTsdhFvmF2u1xdZ-MsalizNOPWde_df0yp0_-VcXx83uq37XIDjniibRm9DC6iI/s400/dallas-cowboys-training-camp_nc.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5233278144991286290" /></a><br />Obviously when discussing the best things on television, we are exempting HARD KNOCKS: LIFE IN THE DALLAS COWBOYS TRAINING CAMP, because otherwise things are not fair. Also BAD BOYS is usually on somewhere on TV.Marshallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12478613025681661930noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7652518170821993891.post-6451570718405386982008-08-10T18:17:00.000-07:002008-08-10T18:20:06.886-07:00Get Some<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyAo-IS8IgjZSoGbQyn8HTYW7eIqffhHDNJg_0knxNlQUFvWtifCVeTGDf1MDyyu8hP1p54Sma-TVpaQRTBOq2wcdgdcJXTtfUIVoFJlbL9Ma21XfuvtPoaJTwWN3iFSgze3gDw2xNTVI/s1600-h/article_generation_kill.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyAo-IS8IgjZSoGbQyn8HTYW7eIqffhHDNJg_0knxNlQUFvWtifCVeTGDf1MDyyu8hP1p54Sma-TVpaQRTBOq2wcdgdcJXTtfUIVoFJlbL9Ma21XfuvtPoaJTwWN3iFSgze3gDw2xNTVI/s400/article_generation_kill.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5233063586947215938" /></a><br /><br />"Perfectly tuned Ferraris in a demolition derby"- Iceman<br /><br />GENERATION KILL is the best thing on television right now. Episode 5 airs tonight, two left. Full appreciation to follow. Also, for the ladies, Jessica assures me these boys are so hot. Get some.Marshallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12478613025681661930noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7652518170821993891.post-47498873756087477152008-08-10T13:29:00.000-07:002008-08-10T13:32:47.536-07:00The Duke of New York<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwv3SLfr4IATxIcI6DnB0EA7GniGqLH7e7zz9wje68-HDjpINldmx4XCY5Th-aLp6aOOKHStRWb9cYOCmotbd789FCl4MuB-UtUqMuCAAabsSdGFMOzumgTQzBwXhaBK75EJ0DMmSXFeY/s1600-h/isaac-hayes-black-moses-cover-front.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwv3SLfr4IATxIcI6DnB0EA7GniGqLH7e7zz9wje68-HDjpINldmx4XCY5Th-aLp6aOOKHStRWb9cYOCmotbd789FCl4MuB-UtUqMuCAAabsSdGFMOzumgTQzBwXhaBK75EJ0DMmSXFeY/s400/isaac-hayes-black-moses-cover-front.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5232989692558675666" /></a>Marshallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12478613025681661930noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7652518170821993891.post-15616334111008396412008-08-09T17:45:00.000-07:002008-08-09T17:47:42.792-07:00Really Wish People Would Stop Dying<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/R2MSQEQIDGk&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/R2MSQEQIDGk&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />Never had a particular affinity for Bernie, other than to say pretty much everything he did made me laugh. That's probably the best thing I could say.Marshallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12478613025681661930noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7652518170821993891.post-4282369232507811122008-08-08T17:12:00.001-07:002008-08-09T01:31:46.098-07:00Our Dumb Century<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeDp2n1_982XUMkB3QawTXjzBArMC2h6xY-yNO-96xGfpVTKCwkVuHdaZgf1hV7OEqGumOWzadDW3AfXrF_oXAkFQnJ1Gb2cO-pTMzAtLm17xOFn6io9RuTfqcaGtTOoYnGZAkXVDnA4c/s1600-h/beijing2008.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeDp2n1_982XUMkB3QawTXjzBArMC2h6xY-yNO-96xGfpVTKCwkVuHdaZgf1hV7OEqGumOWzadDW3AfXrF_oXAkFQnJ1Gb2cO-pTMzAtLm17xOFn6io9RuTfqcaGtTOoYnGZAkXVDnA4c/s320/beijing2008.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5232432797038402770" /></a><br />This overhead shot of fireworks is amazingly BLADE RUNNER.<br /><br />There is no fucking way on earth I am live-blogging the opening ceremonies of the Olympics. I just happen to be watching it while I write this. There also happens to be a Russian war going on while I write this, but no one cares. John Edward's lovechild is probably also watching this, but I don't care. Except, like I said to Casey, how he could have seriously fucked us if he'd been the nominee (affair happened in 2006. What a total fuckmook.) <br /><br />This is some crazy shit, I do have to say. We've finally got goose-stepping back in the opening ceremonies. And who warrants sitting between Putin and Bush, who I want to be drinking beers together right now, but at least they're talking. A lot of this is sort of restaurant music with Cirque du Soleil choreography, but some of this is damned impressive.<br /><br />I was going to turn this into some big statement on my lack of apathy, or apathy, but the bottom line is they're entitled to their evil, and their overcrowding, and their pollution, and also their grandeur. This is definitely their time, and that was a hell of a show. If they can just keep it up for the next hundred years or so we'll be cool.Marshallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12478613025681661930noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7652518170821993891.post-73113711640325020342008-08-07T23:45:00.000-07:002008-08-07T23:46:55.200-07:00Truer Words"Blogging is like masturbating into a mirror while you videotape yourself so you can watch it later while masturbating."<br /> ~ Lewis BlackMarshallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12478613025681661930noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7652518170821993891.post-46218170223287524322008-08-05T23:37:00.000-07:002008-08-07T23:43:16.111-07:00Power of Love<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLTXrDkj2G9aWHib6E4-hAwVuPWhRDs708w33JtnW4BdOynHnR8wlrCxM-9aKWz2ZFTD6Hb6Q7eOPtwRgpkC0-zkY7NMpVhb6ZIXJMVCpVn_nAGDKwSbH0XDIzbTeGcf9aYl18favFRc4/s1600-h/pineapple-express-2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLTXrDkj2G9aWHib6E4-hAwVuPWhRDs708w33JtnW4BdOynHnR8wlrCxM-9aKWz2ZFTD6Hb6Q7eOPtwRgpkC0-zkY7NMpVhb6ZIXJMVCpVn_nAGDKwSbH0XDIzbTeGcf9aYl18favFRc4/s400/pineapple-express-2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5231301335838638626" /></a><br /><br />"I can't decide if it was funny or I thought it was funny because I was high" my friend Jessica asked me via text, after we'd both just walked out of the midnight show. It was funny. In fits and starts, and some people were more funny than others, but it was funny. <br /><br />I suppose stoner action comedies might operate as if they were made by people who were high, and there's some of that in this film. There are also parts that are quite wonderful. For the first 75%, there's a relaxed reggae vibes to the scenes between action, and the action scenes are uneven but occasionally excellent. David Gordon Green, whose GEORGE WASHINGTON and ALL THE REAL GIRLS stand as two of the best original films of the decade, has no background to suggest he would knock this film out of the park, and he doesn't, quite. His style is largely sublimated, and this film largely consists of two shots and average cinematography, though he wrings some great performances and has a facility for broad comedy only touched upon in ATRG. <br /><br />Those performances really are the true grace of the movie, in particular James Franco's Saul and Danny McBride's Red. Seth Rogen is fine in the lead, but I'm still not convinced he's not better as a satellite character. He's as good here though as he was in KNOCKED UP. McBride however has massive potential, too ugly to ever carry a picture, but maybe one day able to do what Will Ferrell only dreamed of. He reminds me a little bit of a slim Horatio Sanz, and I think we all know Sanz' real name is Talent. <br /><br />Franco, for reasons unbeknownst to this filmmaking process, is the true treasure. Obviously far too good looking to be allowed his character acting immediately, he has finally found his nature. With his idiosyncratic shadings, he plays this role like, and I hate to say so, Heath Ledger would have. I took comfort that after a good 8 years of trying to make him a leading man, by playing a pot dealer in pajamas he has emerged as the greatest living actor of his generation, or at least moment. And he is, hands down, the funniest and most affecting person in the film.<br /><br />Rosie Perez, last seen harassing Woody Harrelson, is also in the picture. She's completely wasted though, as is Gary Cole. Smarter writing would have made these two characters one character. Honestly who wouldn't rather be watching Rosie as the witchy head of a drug syndicate? The Asian villains who also factor into the nonsense are too broad. Maybe just by accident, but the rest of the picture feels real. Kevin Corrigan, who really could be the next Christopher Walken, manages to amuse with lines that are not amusing. Much of this film is hampered by the same thing that has hampered even the best films of the Farrelly Brothers- in a comedy, everyone should be funny. Enough with the straight-man hoody guys. <br /><br />Unless, however, you want to aspire to be an all-time action comedy, like MIDNIGHT RUN or LETHAL WEAPON 2, in which case you'd probably reverse the lead roles and have a lot more shootouts. When the third act comes, and fuck HANCOCK, it's the worst third act I've seen all year, I can't be sure whether this film is a parody, an homage, or a continuation of action excess. Frankly, HOT FUZZ did it much better. <br /><br />Still, it's really really really funny. Like its forbearer and spiritual cousin, SUPERBAD, this film's first act is pure bliss. While we discover the characters rhythms and become lulled by their speech patterns, it reaches heights of scatological and drugged-out perfection. Rogen and Evan Goldberg are excellent writers of dialogue, and will one day I'm sure write a great screenplay. In the film's best scene, perfectly capturing what it feels like to grow up and still be a loser, Rogen's Dale returns to high school to visit his girlfriend, and gets into what he thinks is a pissing contest with a hot young stud who apparently does a great Jeff Goldblum impersonation. It's a scene that ultimately falls short, like the film. A Jeff Goldbum impersonation is something magical, like saying you've been to Africa. You don't tease with it. <br /><br />Grade: B+Marshallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12478613025681661930noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7652518170821993891.post-24960633285400481902008-08-05T01:12:00.001-07:002008-08-05T01:37:33.209-07:00Somebody Gets it<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/P_i1xk07o4g&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/P_i1xk07o4g&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />Don't these songs sound like they belong in a Wes Anderson movie? we said to ourselves and our friends, as Vampire Weekend's epymonious debut album provided the soundtrack to our winter of discontent. Well, somebody listened. While A Punk's video was a cute and antic mash of sweaters and high speed, this is a classy homage to Mr. A. These are smart guys, as their Ivy league educations and wardrobes convey. I'm sure I'm supposed to be ejaculatory about how this is a single take, but frankly I'm burned out on that. Batman has shown me the joy of cuts, perhaps more than is necessary. Would you like to know how I got these cuts?<br /><br />I'm glad they listened, but this was such a no brainer I can't be too excited. I know I'm late to the party on this, but then Justin just bought their album last week. We're all in our own little MediaPod. I'm never going to care who Ezra is, but I'm glad he has his lead singer as music video leading man moment. And this song will always be unstoppable. This video is very well made. It's not like something that would happen if someone had won a radio contest. Still I don't think they quite nailed Wes, but it's important they got it. Next for collective consciousness let's all think about how good the singles off Carter III would sound on a space ship. And it will be done. <br /><br />I have no conception of buzz, and I feel like I'd have to leave my place more to know if people still care about this band. Winter's ghost had better stay hot if it wants to last. We'll see.Marshallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12478613025681661930noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7652518170821993891.post-7092244583958014212008-07-27T20:29:00.001-07:002008-08-02T03:07:02.637-07:00Campy David<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/aEyJ2kdaaTQ&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/aEyJ2kdaaTQ&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />This was probably just the right approach to take. Obviously the less and less amusing horrors of the Bush Administration pour out every day, but as far as the story of his improbable rise, how could you take anything but a comic tone? Scott Glenn as Rumsfeld and Richard Dreyfuss as Cheney seem to know what they're doing. James Cromwell seems less sucessfully cast. Brolin had better bring it, because this is his time. <br /><br />This project is probably terribly misguided, but it could also be face-meltingly insane.Marshallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12478613025681661930noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7652518170821993891.post-58226235442606134632008-07-21T11:22:00.000-07:002008-07-21T11:23:29.526-07:00You Cannot Be Serious!<iframe height="339" width="425" src="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22425001/vp/25779945#25779945" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe><br /><br />Notice how he keeps talking regardless of what is being said to him. He's becoming Milton.Marshallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12478613025681661930noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7652518170821993891.post-43754381691435172782008-07-18T16:26:00.000-07:002008-08-24T10:08:06.946-07:00The Killing Joke<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_KLW_GP73ecBqgSMUqBjaEPXd-qGmlwFS0EpYY2LhR4kndwkqxELzGv6m1nDl7fsDUrvL8nI5i_yRAPHhczMnK9OSoagSj5rCsvA__5Y4k0PCxkfoWlgMUYGuYV53M61crMYE0xshZGU/s1600-h/heath-ledger-joker-02.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_KLW_GP73ecBqgSMUqBjaEPXd-qGmlwFS0EpYY2LhR4kndwkqxELzGv6m1nDl7fsDUrvL8nI5i_yRAPHhczMnK9OSoagSj5rCsvA__5Y4k0PCxkfoWlgMUYGuYV53M61crMYE0xshZGU/s400/heath-ledger-joker-02.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5238130274568950002" /></a><br />Eventually Batman had to become a man of his time. For all of his social prominence he's always stood outside the eras of the films he's appeared. Especially those fucking little candy cheap-shit bush-league mother-fucking ass-clown third and fourth ones. I love it, but I'm man enough to say BATMAN FOREVER sucks despite its delicious ingredients. Being America, we are not defined by salads but by mixing bowls, and we are not able to excuse shit despite the presence of carrots. Especially since carrots are so good for our eyesight. As for BATMAN & ROBIN, let us not speak of that. All I need to say is that Foreigner still own the phrase 'Cold as Ice'. <br /><br />This time, even more than in BEGINS we have a Batman who is entirely of his time. There is a raging debate now more than a month old over whether or not the film is conservative. This debate is largely retarded. The worst is the suggestion that Bruce Wayne is George W. Bush, hated for doing what is necessary but understood by those willing to acknowledge evil enough to combat it. This suggestion was clearly started by George W. Bush, in some chatroom using the handle BushMan. I feel much more confident in the fact that it is dealing with the issues of the day- What is an appropriate response to terror? What is the appropriate response to terrorism? How does one fight these abstractions? <br /><br />It's also a fucking movie. And it kicks ass. Christian Bale, Morgan Freeman, Aaron Eckhart, Michael Caine, Gary Oldman. These are manly names that get the heart racing. An absurdly handsome Latino named Nester Carbonell (Holy Shit he's the dude from SMOKIN' ACES, the worst movie I've ever seen five times) plays the Latino Mayor of Gotham, which means they are about 30 years ahead of us. Indie Queen Maggie Gyllenhall acquits herself admirably in the role of Rachel, certainly miles better than Katie Holmes, but it really is one the worst female roles ever, even if this time she gets to wear vests like Annie Hall. <br /><br />If Heath Ledger were alive and playing at your house, his role in this movie would probably still make you cry. There is something absolutely sick to the core about this character. Obviously he's the reason the boys line up ten times in a row, but I'll never forget how disturbed my audience was by him. He has some punch-lines, but all the laughter was like nervous titters in a haunted house. Like Batman being a man of his time, this Joker has an ethos, even if it is chaos. His speech against the "schemers" and planners is probably the most relatable thing a movie villain has ever said. He's too psycho to root for, but when righteousness takes over at the end, it's a little bit disappointing, because in your heart you know he's right about us. <br /><br />So why the hell is everybody talking about the next one? (DARK KNIGHT RETURNS? CAPED CRUSADER? I'm much more of a fan of the fan art title GOTHAM CITY. Should probably go with RAMBO: DARK KNIGHT PART II). It's only been a god damn month though. This is to be savored. <br /><br />Are heros getting less heroic, or is our desire for heroism shrinking? Maybe it's not what we're looking for in this kind of movie. The only things Batman actually kills, as far as I know, are two nasty Rotweillers. THE DARK KNIGHT is too much about consequences of violence to be a film for sadists (an argument people at far too high a level of respectability have made), but in the dark of the matinee, we can take any pleasures we want. For some of us it's Batman pounding on people, for others it's the relentless pyrotechnics, and at 500 million dollars I'm sure for some it's the yelps of those dogs as they fall off a skyscraper. I could never be Batman, because I have no concern for the protection of such innocents. When I had a dog, I would always worry about their safety. Now, when I see them lumbering towards a man in body armor who knows six kinds of karate, all I can think is Kill That Bitch.<br /><br />Grade: AMarshallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12478613025681661930noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7652518170821993891.post-47146387088796056512008-07-16T23:01:00.000-07:002008-07-16T23:03:51.188-07:00Gob Bluth for President<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZUb8Xv6m7lU&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZUb8Xv6m7lU&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Marshallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12478613025681661930noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7652518170821993891.post-92085497564266908252008-07-10T06:05:00.000-07:002008-12-09T05:54:42.363-08:00Looks Like the Grammys Have Their Hip Album Nominee, If They Decide He's Old Enough<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikHf9VfBnhmbLazbW41GzN6IgDFlk4JHzxfgFZBARJNlJprzgg_HHinchz0vY9QK93sch4eZ4T8QENKY_iDAEMAvm_WCUQwCN8G43hWO_aOdQrNfl6-7ZO0C_XA-MYE3H2ZkdoxCC3HG8/s1600-h/beck.bmp"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikHf9VfBnhmbLazbW41GzN6IgDFlk4JHzxfgFZBARJNlJprzgg_HHinchz0vY9QK93sch4eZ4T8QENKY_iDAEMAvm_WCUQwCN8G43hWO_aOdQrNfl6-7ZO0C_XA-MYE3H2ZkdoxCC3HG8/s200/beck.bmp" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5221380977605964130" /></a><br />Though never driven by lyricism as much as his reputation might suggest, with lines such as "move through the room like ambulance drivers", Beck could be accused of what we might call first-draft stream of imagery. His closest peers are probably in the Hip Hop game, where meter and rhythm rule and wordplay means exactly that. He's been doing it for 14 years now, most of my existence and a substantial chunk of his adult life. If it can't break, why fix it? <br /><br />So why does his new album MODERN GUILT hit me so hard? Is it because, even more than usual, I can't quite be sure of what he's saying? Or is it because for the first time I'm certain he can't be sure of it either? I've been writing Beck off for a long time, pretty much since 'Where It's At' climbed to an astounding height of popularity in a late 90s America too serene to realize how weird the thing was. Occasionally I'd check in like a prison guard looking through the slot on the door, happy to find him reading by himself, or dancing on Letterman with Borat. <br /><br />With the driving 'Sexxx Laws' he seemed to be gunning for the title of our Minister of Irony, but then he seemed to shy away from that with SEA CHANGE, converted to something spare and stale like Damascus in reverse. Events like the death of Jeremy Blake reminded us of how quietly present Beck still was in our pop culture elite, one of the brightest stars not to cast his own orbit. <br /><br />Is he feeling guilty about this? Perhaps, or how else to explain his teaming up with Danger Mouse, except that is seems like such a natural fit. With backing exhalations and moans that would have been at home on Man Man's first two LP's and Super Mario keyboard jaunts I would have loved to have heard Elliot Smith lay real wristcutters over, this is Beck at his most relaxed and amusing. It's not like reverb and distortion so much as these songs are being whispered at you. <br /><br />I could quote lyrics and determine intentions, but it's be more fun to tell you for instance that I dont know what the hell 'Gamma Ray' is, but I do know there's only way to dance to it, and it's over 40 years old. I suppose you could read something deep into the ramblings title track, except this is the man whose had a Devil's Haircut on his mind for quite some time. I'm not lucky enough for 'Soul of a Man' to be about DMX's short-lived and hilarious BET reality series, so I'm just going to say Beck's too smart for that title to not be ironic. <br /><br />'Profanity Prayers', on the other hand, is as strong as any song I've heard this year, even if you could be forgiven for finding the production more Gnarls rejected refuse than anything else Danger does on here. But even with Beck's absolute non-chalance, it's absolutely propulsive. <br /><br />Mr. Hansen is reaching the age where to ensure his fashionability he must acknowledge his irrelevance. Still, unlike some of the mid-life crissys of his generation, Beck yields nothing. Maybe he just doesn't know. Or maybe unlike Rivers Cuomo, he doesn't have to worry about losing his hair. Even so, like Malkmus before him, he'd rather just riff. The great ones know that as we age there are some thoughts best left to ourselves. He has the rest of his life to turn 40. <br /><br />Grade: A-<br /><br />P.S.: the damn thing is only 33 minutes, making it suitable for any occasion.Marshallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12478613025681661930noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7652518170821993891.post-45435471268068671062008-07-08T13:14:00.000-07:002008-12-09T05:54:42.551-08:00Tin Roof, Rusted<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEeveg4_R9WngFcud8UrwZtkBX5wEOsGmlxUGklUFOSYvCZi0do5pmCXmhz7RcS6IwZWMnP4U9-eYHWtpY5PlnDKi8Yr9cj8qOp3Tvct4RS6Uhx-a3S7o8bj-f6a0EA-MfzYW-YhUgTmw/s1600-h/Norton.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEeveg4_R9WngFcud8UrwZtkBX5wEOsGmlxUGklUFOSYvCZi0do5pmCXmhz7RcS6IwZWMnP4U9-eYHWtpY5PlnDKi8Yr9cj8qOp3Tvct4RS6Uhx-a3S7o8bj-f6a0EA-MfzYW-YhUgTmw/s320/Norton.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5221276344708008818" /></a><br />Edward Norton is ready to play Jesus. Pale, amazingly thin and with long slender arms offered outward, he's decked out beatifically in beggar garb several times in THE INCREDIBLE HULK, just one example of a film that, more often than not has no fucking idea what it's doing aesthetically. <br /><br />Coming five years after Ang Lee's universally despised (though not by me) HULK, this one is generally more interested in getting down to business. Call it a reboot or a sequel, it features an all new cast that is a step down from the previous iteration, with the exception of Norton. Liv Tyler is burdened with a dumb character arc of apparently really wanting to see the green boy's hulked-out cock, and William Hurt is egregiously bad. I would say he phoned it in and cashed a check, but based on his performance here, he probably ate the check. <br /><br />Meanwhile as the new villain, Tim Roth fairs much better, capturing the sweaty insecurity of a small, aging guy who wants to even the playing field. Without this nuance the ways in which Hurt's General Ross takes advantage of him wouldn't be plausible. His character immediately becomes uninteresting when he transforms into a crusty Hulk-sized monster for the final fight. Tim Blake Nelson is fine as Samuel Stern, setup to appear as The Leader in a later sequel (or AVENGERS film), whose look will probably have to be changed because of his resemblance to the brain guy in the Ambiguously Gay Duo. <br /><br />Edward Norton really carries this thing though, bringing none of the apprehensiveness he brought to his last franchise sell-out appearance, RED DRAGON. One of the bigger problems I did have with the first HULK was Eric Bana being far too attractive and masculine to fit the model of bashful underachiever turned hero. The real genius of Marvel has been its ability to tap into vicarious desires by having its alteregos be dweebs on the level of Peter Parker or Bruce Banner. Even Tony Stark, as portrayed by Robert Downey Jr., is kind of a dork if you think about it. <br /><br />So if Norton is not the problem, what then? The truth of it is the Hulk is just not a very compelling character, and made less so with the seqboot's further muddying of the thematic waters. Whereas before the gamma radiation tapped into Banner's anger that was already there, now apparently it merely preys on heart rate. 'You won't like me when my pulse is elevated?' Seriously? <br /><br />Two positives I will include are a generally fascinating opening act set mostly in a Brazillian slum, in particular a sequence in which Banner takes some form of martial arts/yoga class to learn to control his anger. His teacher uses his few moments to make a great impression, and I could have used more of him. Another would be the all too rare use of Arlington, Virginia as the location of the Pentagon. I wish I could say this movie hit me where I lived because it was set where I lived, but it didn't. <br /><br />And of course, in hiding, Bruce spends his lonely days with some kind of mangy stray mutt. The same black and white texture, the unkempt hair, the warm expression. You watch enough of these things, you realize it's always the same movie, because it's always the same dog. <br /><br />Grade: C+Marshallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12478613025681661930noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7652518170821993891.post-78064564708447218762008-07-03T14:30:00.000-07:002008-12-09T05:54:42.675-08:00Constructive Summer<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhD9CUQK5Mphasxty31pryyvUWOFZz6vT9M5VQCBnPV8xctxWR7NPH8YNSTsTQ1jdFvdmGTbodJ394FWrlqh-Zvg5nM9T_DpFSly9csf_2Gcyj6go1vQf6fotMbxqB7Q6hGhtZIw6mHfl0/s1600-h/Batman.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhD9CUQK5Mphasxty31pryyvUWOFZz6vT9M5VQCBnPV8xctxWR7NPH8YNSTsTQ1jdFvdmGTbodJ394FWrlqh-Zvg5nM9T_DpFSly9csf_2Gcyj6go1vQf6fotMbxqB7Q6hGhtZIw6mHfl0/s400/Batman.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5218904131624117938" /></a><br /><br /><br />HIATUS! <br /><br />Summer term is already kicking my ass. Not that I write that much already, but it's going to be severely toned down around here for the time being. See you in August. I am glad that I had to save a picture of Batman onto a school computer to write this. <br /><br />Yours in Christ,<br />Marshall<br /><br />UPDATE!:<br /><br />never mind.Marshallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12478613025681661930noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7652518170821993891.post-30487381598644338962008-06-27T14:48:00.000-07:002008-06-27T15:03:25.034-07:00The Kids Came From Miles Around to Get Messed Up on the MusicTop Ten Songs I'm Looking Forward to The Hold Steady Kicking My Ass With:<br /><br />10) Chillout Tent- This song is so dynamite except I've never cared for the other vocalists. I assume since this is live that part will be played by us, or as its going to be in Baltimore, John Waters and Patti Hitler.<br /><br />9) Stay Positive- a newby but goodie, and sure to be an absolute monster live. Call and response, please. <br /><br />8) You Gotta Dance With Who You Came to the Dance With- or, preferably, strangers. <br /><br />7) Cattle and the Creeping Things- I can only imagine this is tremendously strange in person. Nice change of pace. <br /><br />6) Sequestered in Memphis- another newborn baby, but I love it dearly and have commited it to memory. Except for until recently I thought he was saying Christmas, not business. Best sing-a-long since Mary Poppins. <br /><br />5) Your Little Hoodrat Friend- I imagine the enormous appeal of this song is increased exponentially if you are actually surrounded by hoodrats. Fingers crossed. <br /><br />4) First Night- I've been trying to quit smoking, but I keep lighters for occasions such as huge daddy power ballads. <br /><br />3) Massive Nights- ever seen a white kid bouncing up and down like a douchebag to a cool bassline? It's awesome, isn't it?<br /><br />2) How a Ressurection Really Feels- I assume, since we've already expended the lighter waving during the power ballad, we are obligated to set ourselves on fire. <br /><br />1) The Swish- Fuck Yeah.<br /><br />TONIGHT!Marshallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12478613025681661930noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7652518170821993891.post-46468955426049398602008-06-27T14:09:00.000-07:002008-06-27T14:47:42.682-07:00Don't Sweat the Petty Things<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/yDQt5L4Ktt0&hl=en"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/yDQt5L4Ktt0&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />Yeah John Lennon & Yoko Ono & George Carlin. And Richard Nixon in the White House. I know I hate this fucking era too. Especially when confronted with the olden days and the really bizarre single pop culture. Also knowing I'll never watch a talk show where three out of four people are high. I could probably spin this into some bigger cultural treatise, but I'm wearing a towel and getting ready for a concert, and just not in the mood. <br /><br />One important thing for the reader of my blog, whoever you may be, is that on Saturday night on its regularly scheduled time SNL will be playing its original episode from 1974, hosted by none other than George Carlin. There are clips up on NBC.com that aren't embed friendly, but its a cool opportunity to see the Not Ready for Primetime Players and the show when it was actually good. It's also history. I unfortunately won't be able to watch as I will be at an undisclosed location with the Vice President or just vice. <br /><br />Watch that video and tell me the last fourty years haven't been one miserable comedown.Marshallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12478613025681661930noreply@blogger.com0