As I begin to write this, the starters have been taken off the court and there are substantial audio drop outs, I am hoping because Garnett and Pierce are just yelling FUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.
Ray Allen losing his eye and having it replaced with a cyborg one. When basketball is perfected it will at least 40% starters jogging back out slowly into the arena midgame. Paul Pierce is the man of the year. His decision making and charisma are unmatched. Later, when he takes off his sweatband he will be the most handsome man I have ever seen. Garnett's celebration takes my breath away. Usually it takes Kevin Costner to make me cry, but this is close. Did he say hyped or high? I feel like Garnett would be really good to hang out with. He's very down to earth, clearly. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. Trademarked immediately I'm sure.
The big three are the new holy trinity. This is not the SuperFriends, this is the god damn Justice League of America.
This is unquestionably the greatest finals game of my lifetime. I haven't payed much attention since the glory days of the Chicago Bulls, but this was a wondrous rout. Sure Alonzo using his dying moments to inspire the Heat was stellar (he's alive?) and the Lakers had some flashy moments, but this was a game for the ages. Not so much a game as god damn human sacrifice. En fucking masse. A fucking Aztec coronation. Hearts are being held aloft still beating and blood is flowing down the temple steps.