Friday, August 29, 2008

Being President is Entirely About Character

Andrew Shepard for President. Apparently Keith Olbermann compared Obama's speech last night to Michael Douglas' address in THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT, one of the three greatest movies ever played on TNT (the other two being SHAWKSHANK and IN THE LINE OF FIRE. They also play CON AIR, but that can not be held within the bounds of media, and therefore is not quantifiable). I think there are similarities. Another analogy was Ali's rope-a-dope. Last night I think Obama turned around and started wailing on Foreman's head, in this case McCain. We'll see how this Palin choice ends up. I don't think Biden has to wipe the floor with her, he just has to dance like a gentleman. We can't keep letting these people lower our expectations to any semblance of competence is a victory. This one goes out to the douchebag with the Miller Chill on the floor, and also to the Mexican guy who had to clean it up, which I do feel bad about. Ain't that America.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Crows Eat Tinfoil Because It's Delicious

I can't wait until I just hibernate between summers.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Abraham Simpson for President

Payed for by John McCain for WHAT THE FUCK.

Monday, August 11, 2008


This probably seems like it's posted ironically, but I have a sincere hope and admiration for the people of Georgia. Probably going to get into to this thing soon and hopefully halt this nonsense. In the meantime, the voice from 1:25-1:30 should stop Putin in his dirty tracks.
I watch things set in the desert, or in the snow, In Alaska, or Texas or Mexico, and I wonder How do people stay there? They were born there, of course. Well I was born here, but how do I stay here? I look directly out the window of my father's house and I see wind blowing our Korean neighbor's carefully tended Rose bushes, still dead. Suddenly I think how is this any better than rocks in the arid cliffs of Texas? Fuck, it's a lot worse. I'm sure an austere land like that rips the skin off your back and petrifies you, this place just sort of bleeds you out slowly. Cars go by, a lot, one of them even had really sweet rims. This country is rough on people.

Simulcast en Espanol

Obviously when discussing the best things on television, we are exempting HARD KNOCKS: LIFE IN THE DALLAS COWBOYS TRAINING CAMP, because otherwise things are not fair. Also BAD BOYS is usually on somewhere on TV.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Get Some

"Perfectly tuned Ferraris in a demolition derby"- Iceman

GENERATION KILL is the best thing on television right now. Episode 5 airs tonight, two left. Full appreciation to follow. Also, for the ladies, Jessica assures me these boys are so hot. Get some.

The Duke of New York

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Really Wish People Would Stop Dying

Never had a particular affinity for Bernie, other than to say pretty much everything he did made me laugh. That's probably the best thing I could say.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Our Dumb Century

This overhead shot of fireworks is amazingly BLADE RUNNER.

There is no fucking way on earth I am live-blogging the opening ceremonies of the Olympics. I just happen to be watching it while I write this. There also happens to be a Russian war going on while I write this, but no one cares. John Edward's lovechild is probably also watching this, but I don't care. Except, like I said to Casey, how he could have seriously fucked us if he'd been the nominee (affair happened in 2006. What a total fuckmook.)

This is some crazy shit, I do have to say. We've finally got goose-stepping back in the opening ceremonies. And who warrants sitting between Putin and Bush, who I want to be drinking beers together right now, but at least they're talking. A lot of this is sort of restaurant music with Cirque du Soleil choreography, but some of this is damned impressive.

I was going to turn this into some big statement on my lack of apathy, or apathy, but the bottom line is they're entitled to their evil, and their overcrowding, and their pollution, and also their grandeur. This is definitely their time, and that was a hell of a show. If they can just keep it up for the next hundred years or so we'll be cool.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Truer Words

"Blogging is like masturbating into a mirror while you videotape yourself so you can watch it later while masturbating."
~ Lewis Black

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Power of Love

"I can't decide if it was funny or I thought it was funny because I was high" my friend Jessica asked me via text, after we'd both just walked out of the midnight show. It was funny. In fits and starts, and some people were more funny than others, but it was funny.

I suppose stoner action comedies might operate as if they were made by people who were high, and there's some of that in this film. There are also parts that are quite wonderful. For the first 75%, there's a relaxed reggae vibes to the scenes between action, and the action scenes are uneven but occasionally excellent. David Gordon Green, whose GEORGE WASHINGTON and ALL THE REAL GIRLS stand as two of the best original films of the decade, has no background to suggest he would knock this film out of the park, and he doesn't, quite. His style is largely sublimated, and this film largely consists of two shots and average cinematography, though he wrings some great performances and has a facility for broad comedy only touched upon in ATRG.

Those performances really are the true grace of the movie, in particular James Franco's Saul and Danny McBride's Red. Seth Rogen is fine in the lead, but I'm still not convinced he's not better as a satellite character. He's as good here though as he was in KNOCKED UP. McBride however has massive potential, too ugly to ever carry a picture, but maybe one day able to do what Will Ferrell only dreamed of. He reminds me a little bit of a slim Horatio Sanz, and I think we all know Sanz' real name is Talent.

Franco, for reasons unbeknownst to this filmmaking process, is the true treasure. Obviously far too good looking to be allowed his character acting immediately, he has finally found his nature. With his idiosyncratic shadings, he plays this role like, and I hate to say so, Heath Ledger would have. I took comfort that after a good 8 years of trying to make him a leading man, by playing a pot dealer in pajamas he has emerged as the greatest living actor of his generation, or at least moment. And he is, hands down, the funniest and most affecting person in the film.

Rosie Perez, last seen harassing Woody Harrelson, is also in the picture. She's completely wasted though, as is Gary Cole. Smarter writing would have made these two characters one character. Honestly who wouldn't rather be watching Rosie as the witchy head of a drug syndicate? The Asian villains who also factor into the nonsense are too broad. Maybe just by accident, but the rest of the picture feels real. Kevin Corrigan, who really could be the next Christopher Walken, manages to amuse with lines that are not amusing. Much of this film is hampered by the same thing that has hampered even the best films of the Farrelly Brothers- in a comedy, everyone should be funny. Enough with the straight-man hoody guys.

Unless, however, you want to aspire to be an all-time action comedy, like MIDNIGHT RUN or LETHAL WEAPON 2, in which case you'd probably reverse the lead roles and have a lot more shootouts. When the third act comes, and fuck HANCOCK, it's the worst third act I've seen all year, I can't be sure whether this film is a parody, an homage, or a continuation of action excess. Frankly, HOT FUZZ did it much better.

Still, it's really really really funny. Like its forbearer and spiritual cousin, SUPERBAD, this film's first act is pure bliss. While we discover the characters rhythms and become lulled by their speech patterns, it reaches heights of scatological and drugged-out perfection. Rogen and Evan Goldberg are excellent writers of dialogue, and will one day I'm sure write a great screenplay. In the film's best scene, perfectly capturing what it feels like to grow up and still be a loser, Rogen's Dale returns to high school to visit his girlfriend, and gets into what he thinks is a pissing contest with a hot young stud who apparently does a great Jeff Goldblum impersonation. It's a scene that ultimately falls short, like the film. A Jeff Goldbum impersonation is something magical, like saying you've been to Africa. You don't tease with it.

Grade: B+

Somebody Gets it

Don't these songs sound like they belong in a Wes Anderson movie? we said to ourselves and our friends, as Vampire Weekend's epymonious debut album provided the soundtrack to our winter of discontent. Well, somebody listened. While A Punk's video was a cute and antic mash of sweaters and high speed, this is a classy homage to Mr. A. These are smart guys, as their Ivy league educations and wardrobes convey. I'm sure I'm supposed to be ejaculatory about how this is a single take, but frankly I'm burned out on that. Batman has shown me the joy of cuts, perhaps more than is necessary. Would you like to know how I got these cuts?

I'm glad they listened, but this was such a no brainer I can't be too excited. I know I'm late to the party on this, but then Justin just bought their album last week. We're all in our own little MediaPod. I'm never going to care who Ezra is, but I'm glad he has his lead singer as music video leading man moment. And this song will always be unstoppable. This video is very well made. It's not like something that would happen if someone had won a radio contest. Still I don't think they quite nailed Wes, but it's important they got it. Next for collective consciousness let's all think about how good the singles off Carter III would sound on a space ship. And it will be done.

I have no conception of buzz, and I feel like I'd have to leave my place more to know if people still care about this band. Winter's ghost had better stay hot if it wants to last. We'll see.