Sunday, December 9, 2007


Hey Rubes. It's an important part of any man's life when he goes from pretending to care about sports to actually caring. For me that moment came last Monday night watching the Baltimore Ravens come close to dispatching my hated New England Patriots. See what I just did there? The fact is for the longest time I couldn't muster up the enthusiasm to hate any team or truly care about the outcome. When the New England Patriots were eviscerating the St. Louis Rams, I got a nosebleed and lay down in my tub for two hours. Ruined my shirt.

Yet that night I was really into it. I've long been tremendously bored with Prettyboy Tom Brady and Waffen SS of a football team. I'm not trying to equate them with such evil, but I just think that rooting for them is like rooting for the Nazis in Indiana Jones. Everybody says they want to be there to see them go 16-0, but nothing strikes me as more inhuman than a perfect season.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Skys of Blue! Sea of Green!

"Lula Wants His Yellow Submarine
Nuclear-R-Us:Is Brazil's proposed Construction of a Nuclear Submarine the result of Imperial Ambitionsor a matter of diving to the depths of pandering politics on Lula's part?
Lula reignites the dream of the military junta: a nuclear submarine of its own.
Washington derides Iran's and North Korea's nuclear plans but mums the word when it comes to Brazil
Is the Brazilian navy expecting to be attacked on the high seas by some far off land, or, is a new militarized geopolitical strategy being evolved by Brasilia, or, is Lula merely being pressured by his military to acquire this trophy weapons system which could cost the nation upwards of a billion dollars, yet do little to augment Brazilian security?
If Brazil goes ahead with its nuclear project, it may violate the spirit of the Treaty of Tlatelolco and the Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty.
Who is going to provide Brazil with the necessary technology and advice it needs in order to successfully develop a nuclear submarine? Russia or China? Or will it be Brasilia's new sister pact members India and South Africa, or perhaps Iran with whom it has had a decade-long nuclear relationship. What will be the roles of the UN, IAEA and OPANAL?"

Haters, breathe. First of all, Brazil is a large and responsible nation taking great strides towards becoming one of the most progressive democracies in this hemisphere, despite their huge internal problems such as gang violence.

Second, I'm not sure what they mean by yellow. I believe it has to do with the economy of Brazil being ethanol based, but anything ensuring that the lyrics of Ringo Starr achieve a frightening reality needs to be allowed to happen.

Do You Ever Miss the '90s?

Like most people my age, I'm always struck by the sensation that I was born too late. But if I could ride in a Time Machine, I wouldn't go back and catch the bullet that killed JFK, I'd go back to the time of my youth, the 1990s. It was a simpler time, and not just because my brain was mush.

Depending on your mood you will either find what you're watching horrific or a curiousity, but I hope it conjures up a time when giants like Ethan Hawke and Winona Ryder walked the earth.

According to Wikipedia, this song peaked at #72 on the Billboard Hot 100 singles chart in 1996 and was a strong alternative radio hit. Alternative radio, what the fuck is that? These days it would be absolutely absurd for a music video featuring what appears to be a bunch of cerebral palsy cases cavorting in the desert in panchos with the Navajos to recieve heavy play on MTV. Not that MTV plays music videos anymore, but then it was never under any obligation to, being Music Television, not Music Video Television.

Regardless, the ghosts of our youth are now relegated to sideshows at places like Bonaroo, too sad to live but too old to cry. Reality bites.