Friday, June 27, 2008

The Kids Came From Miles Around to Get Messed Up on the Music

Top Ten Songs I'm Looking Forward to The Hold Steady Kicking My Ass With:

10) Chillout Tent- This song is so dynamite except I've never cared for the other vocalists. I assume since this is live that part will be played by us, or as its going to be in Baltimore, John Waters and Patti Hitler.

9) Stay Positive- a newby but goodie, and sure to be an absolute monster live. Call and response, please.

8) You Gotta Dance With Who You Came to the Dance With- or, preferably, strangers.

7) Cattle and the Creeping Things- I can only imagine this is tremendously strange in person. Nice change of pace.

6) Sequestered in Memphis- another newborn baby, but I love it dearly and have commited it to memory. Except for until recently I thought he was saying Christmas, not business. Best sing-a-long since Mary Poppins.

5) Your Little Hoodrat Friend- I imagine the enormous appeal of this song is increased exponentially if you are actually surrounded by hoodrats. Fingers crossed.

4) First Night- I've been trying to quit smoking, but I keep lighters for occasions such as huge daddy power ballads.

3) Massive Nights- ever seen a white kid bouncing up and down like a douchebag to a cool bassline? It's awesome, isn't it?

2) How a Ressurection Really Feels- I assume, since we've already expended the lighter waving during the power ballad, we are obligated to set ourselves on fire.

1) The Swish- Fuck Yeah.


Don't Sweat the Petty Things

Yeah John Lennon & Yoko Ono & George Carlin. And Richard Nixon in the White House. I know I hate this fucking era too. Especially when confronted with the olden days and the really bizarre single pop culture. Also knowing I'll never watch a talk show where three out of four people are high. I could probably spin this into some bigger cultural treatise, but I'm wearing a towel and getting ready for a concert, and just not in the mood.

One important thing for the reader of my blog, whoever you may be, is that on Saturday night on its regularly scheduled time SNL will be playing its original episode from 1974, hosted by none other than George Carlin. There are clips up on that aren't embed friendly, but its a cool opportunity to see the Not Ready for Primetime Players and the show when it was actually good. It's also history. I unfortunately won't be able to watch as I will be at an undisclosed location with the Vice President or just vice.

Watch that video and tell me the last fourty years haven't been one miserable comedown.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Favorite Moment in the History of Government

This lightweight is actually Dick Cheney's Chief of Staff? I imagine their daily interaction is very Peter vs. Lumberg, with about ten motherfuckers thrown in. Pretty sure Delahunt directly threatened him with a personal terrorist attack. He's flush with pride after the Sawx and the Celts, clearly he feels Al Qaeda is due for another championship. If you found that statement offensive you should hear what I thought but didn't type. Clearly Congressman should only be from the South or New England. MOLASSSSESSSSSSSSSSSSS to RUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

Hey Ladies


Monday, June 23, 2008

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

More Than a Feeling

As I begin to write this, the starters have been taken off the court and there are substantial audio drop outs, I am hoping because Garnett and Pierce are just yelling FUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.

Ray Allen losing his eye and having it replaced with a cyborg one. When basketball is perfected it will at least 40% starters jogging back out slowly into the arena midgame. Paul Pierce is the man of the year. His decision making and charisma are unmatched. Later, when he takes off his sweatband he will be the most handsome man I have ever seen. Garnett's celebration takes my breath away. Usually it takes Kevin Costner to make me cry, but this is close. Did he say hyped or high? I feel like Garnett would be really good to hang out with. He's very down to earth, clearly. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. Trademarked immediately I'm sure.

The big three are the new holy trinity. This is not the SuperFriends, this is the god damn Justice League of America.

This is unquestionably the greatest finals game of my lifetime. I haven't payed much attention since the glory days of the Chicago Bulls, but this was a wondrous rout. Sure Alonzo using his dying moments to inspire the Heat was stellar (he's alive?) and the Lakers had some flashy moments, but this was a game for the ages. Not so much a game as god damn human sacrifice. En fucking masse. A fucking Aztec coronation. Hearts are being held aloft still beating and blood is flowing down the temple steps.

Basement Tapes

I'm really just interested in the clip from Fox at the end, though Stewart does an admirable job throughout. He makes excellent points and is truly our greatest living critic of media. I refuse to directly post a Fox news clip. In the words of Agent Smith, I fear I may become infected by it.

The media in general has being a pathetic echo chamber, but no one else has become dangerous in the way Fox has. Maybe just because its audience is so stupid and impressionable, but more likely because it spends so much time manipulating people it knows are stupid.

Now it's sputtering and becoming a joke. This accusation of plagiarism, which Stewart implodes so well, is truly sad. It says everything about conservativism that two politicians a generation apart talking about the same economic strife appears to be plagiarism. There are still people hurting just like they were before Reagan. That's right, he really didn't make things better. He looked good on television but he was was a terrible actor. Clearly he continues to inspire these people every day.

Friday, June 13, 2008


"What's the point of being Irish if you don't know the world is going to break your heart?" - Daniel Patrick Moynihan

Brief dispatch from Casa de Girlfriend in New York on the news of the death of Tim Russert. I'm not even really ready to think about a world he's not a part of yet. I couldn't bear the maudlin spectacle NBC must have prepared for the death of anyone. I decided to sing Danny Boy in the shower loud enough that a guy upstairs banged on the floor.

For someone interested in Political journalism, this is like the death of the Pope; the day the music died. Dissemblers, propagandists and fuckheads, breathe easy. Your greatest enemy is gone.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Live-Blogging the Death of an Era

8:39 PM: Preparing for battle by indulging in Fig Newtons, a cookie I haven't had in about ten years. This is terrible idea, and just reminds me of Sunday school.

8:42 PM: There's an Indian American Governor on TV right now talking in a Southern accent, and yet Apu offends them?

8:47-8:55: I can't stand to watch McCain speak. Sometimes he looks like he's still in captivity.

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE III. Hoffman owns this movie.

9:00: Barack Obama is the presumptive Democratic nominee for President. Chris Matthews is holding back tears, and that is why he is a true daddy.

9:02: Keith Olby lays the black struggle out quite nicely. I was just thinking, as far as I can recall, no nation has ever elected a racial minority as its leader.

9:05: MSNBC is unreal. Matthews is quoting Desmond Tutu. Brokaw is talking about 1968,I think he wrote book about it, but it's still touching. Now that Obama is the presumptive nominee, they've given him a new, more commanding photo. This guy is gonna be on money.

9:09: HAROLD FORD. Is analyzing colors. Green represents the future. Second black president. Amazing.

9:18: Andrea Mitchell reports exclusively that Clinton plans to meet Obama as soon as possible, probably at AIPAC. Matthews immediately gets upset a secret meeting was revealed, and makes a disgusted look at Mitchell. Hmm. Maybe he sort of doesn't like women. Dad comes into the room 'Why is she on TV?!'. Definetly doesn't like women.

9:20: Yeahhhh. Panel. Gregory. Robinson. Buchanan. Sighhhh, Maddow. Patty Buck is pretty upset that a black man is going to be the nominee. He makes excellent points about doing to VP offer carefully to not appear weak. South

9:22: Hillary wins South Dakota? Been reading about it but WTF? Get ready for Vice President Clinton.

9:30: Dinner's on. My dad is basically throwing a party.

9:56: Hillary Clinton makes a damn good speech, albeit to an audience in a basement arena that could survive a nuclear attack, with no TV monitors. They are blissfully unaware Obama has clinched.

10:00: Obama wins Montana, ending the primary season on a high.

10:15: Obama has just declared victory, classily. The crowd roars. I just realize this is taking place in the site of the GOP Convention in August. Brilliant. In the coliseummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

10:30: Obama stemwinder. Favorite line so far: I will honor McCain's accomplishment's, evenifhe refuses to acknowledge mine.

10:33: My friend Jessica texts: "Typical of hillz to concede without conceding"

10:45: Not sure about the music choices tonight. Hillary picks Tom Petty's I Won't Back Down, which is troubling. Obama opens with U2's Beautiful Day and closes with Bruce's The Rising. Messianic perhaps but sexy.

11:10: Dear god Terry McAullife on The Daily Show. He's become even more of a WWE character than Howard Dean. Insane.

Well that's about it for me. On to fall asleep watching HBO Signature or StarzEdge. Ugh Mencia ad. Carlos Mencia is a great example of why it takes a truly brave person to even want to lead this country.

As for my own musical choice, I just finally downloaded The Strokes' Room on Fire, I've been spinning it, I'd forgotten how solid it was. It ends, perfectly, with the tracks The Way It Is, The End Has No End, and I Can't Win. Hilldog are you listening?

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Mama Said Knock You Out

A person will understand when it's dying, and accept. An animal usually will not. Saturday night, for all of C-Span viewer(s?)to see, the Clinton Political Animal, a 15 year ruling faction based on conspiratorial insecurity and centrist cowardice was finally wounded fatally. Don't expect it to go quietly, mind you.

Here are two delicious items, lifted entirely from my perusal of Daily Kos:

Delegates: Pledged Super Total Needed
Obama 1,724.5 328.5 2,053 64

Clinton 1,586.5 290 1,876.5 240.5

Remaining 86 205 291

(2,117 delegates needed for victory)

And second, a big bad quote from MSNBC's Chuck Todd, a man I value much more these days than Tim Russert, who is quickly becoming the Chris Berman of politics:

"You know, there is a big thing we should be getting out of this party tonight, and that is the Democratic National Committee is not somehow controlled by the Clintons. Not by the Clinton campaign any more. We may have started this campaign believing that the Clinton campaign controlled, but this is Barack Obama's party now. He's already been winning the outside game, he now won the inside game. Yes it's true that Harold Ickes can threaten this stuff about the credentials, but Don Fowler really did signal today by being for the Michigan compromise that, "Guys, it's over."

Congressman Wexler was undoubtedly the all-star of the Pro-Obama speakers, though Sky Marshal Donna Brazile continues to amaze. I'm trying to find video of his statements, but I can't yet. Just imagine a younger handsome Jewish version of Joe Biden. I mean, more than you do normally.

Happy June

No, the year is not already half over. Count it on your fingers.